In the disenchantment lane.

Audrey. 23.

Of the few things I am certain, I'm the captain of my burden. I'm sorry doll, I could never stop the rain.

There are few things I’m entertained by more than bad lightning.

There are few things I’m entertained by more than bad lightning.

Oh don’t worry, she still had it coming!

Oh don’t worry, she still had it coming!

She’s actually one of my closest friends and has said far worse to me. But like it just hit me that she’s old, despite being really sassy, and I had a moment of “oh my god did I just say that to someone old enough to be my grandma?!”

She’s actually one of my closest friends and has said far worse to me. But like it just hit me that she’s old, despite being really sassy, and I had a moment of “oh my god did I just say that to someone old enough to be my grandma?!”

Just called a 52 year old lady an old bag of dicks and balls. If there’s a hell, I’m headed straight for it.

HI HELLO YES THERES A FUCKING WASP IN MY BEDROOM IM GOING TO CRY AND THROW UP OH MY GOD IM GOING BACK TO RICHMOND THIS IS AWFUL SOMEONE PLEASE COME HELP ME OR PUT A BULLET THROUGH MY SKULL.

I’m hanging out with a very attractive guy tonight, and all I really want is a slurpee and for him to listen to me talk about how much I love Gaslight for like 3+ hours.

yerawizardbarry:

when you need to cough in an exam but you’ve already coughed like twice so you just sit there suffocating

(via notnownicole)